Lately, I have been noticing something that so many women seem to struggle with on a daily basis. I know I have in the past, and honestly, at times I still do. I have had to learn techniques and become very aware around it so that I do not allow this habit to run my life.
Do you have a guess as to what it may be?
Women are way too hard on themselves!
Being hard on yourself shows up in a variety of different ways and half of the time, you probably don’t even realize you are doing it. You may wonder why you are feeling badly, having a hard time loving yourself, and struggling to reach your goals. You may think it has something to do with the outside circumstances of your life. Maybe your dead-end job or the partner that isn’t giving you what you need, but it really never has anything to do with the outside world.
When your inner self-critic is given way too much importance and control, the following behaviors will often be present:
- Comparing yourself with others – Here is what is crazy about this one, not only will you compare yourself to other people’s happiness and successes, but you will also compare yourself to their levels of pain. You will hear yourself saying the word “SHOULD” a lot here. For example, I shouldn’t be feeling so sad. I should have moved on. I should be happy.
- Finding it impossible to practice self-care and self-love – It will feel like walking through quicksand when you even think about putting yourself first and making yourself a priority. You will have all sorts of excuses about how your kids need you, you don’t have time. One day soon it will happen.
- Attempting to force yourself to do things or behave in certain ways – You will find yourself engaging in activities or behaviors that you don’t even enjoy simply because you feel like you have to. Possibly you are concerned about the opinions of others, avoiding conflict, or simply so unsure of your own likes you just go along, but you do know that it doesn’t feel good and isn’t what you would consciously choose to do.
- Allowing negative self-talk to run wild – We all have that voice inside us that likes to remind us of all the things we are doing wrong, all the ways we could be better. And honestly, there is something very positive about this voice as it provides us feedback as we seek to improve and live to our potential. Allowing it to run wild though will result in you holding yourself back and basically feeling like crap.
All of these behaviors are ways that you keep yourself small and hold yourself back from living fully in your potential and in the expression of your light. And, it seems as though we as women become harder on ourselves the more difficult the challenge we face.
Here is what you need to know:
We are always harder on ourselves than anyone else could ever be.
We overlook our talents, our gifts, and our positive qualities.
We brush away compliments and beat ourselves up.
Well… Have you ever stopped to see yourself through someone else’s eyes? Through the eyes of your child, your spouse, or your best friend? What is it that they see? Who is this person that they love?
I imagine that for many of you, this will be an eye-opening experience to the goodness you truly carry inside. The people who love you see your heart, they see your soul, and they see your potential. It is time for you to see all of this as well.
We are always harder on ourselves than anyone else could ever be. So now I encourage you to look at yourself through the eyes of those who love you.
What do they see?
What is it that they love about you?
You are everything they see and more.
With love and joy,
P.S. Making the decision to take ownership of your life and truly embrace your joy is a powerful journey and one I truly love taking with clients. If you are ready and want to learn more, let’s chat.
Click here and take the first step!