Getting clear on what it means to love…
Sometimes I wonder why it has become so difficult for us to love one another.
When I think about life, and the way we enter this world, all I can think about is love. The act of creation stemming from a state of love. The moment a newborn is held, drenched in a field of love. The reflection from a baby’s eyes, nothing but pure love. Love is our natural state, it is where we come from and what we are made of. Love is the one thing we, as human beings, don’t have to learn to do. Ok, well maybe besides breathing.
So, what happens? Why does something that comes to us as naturally as breathing become one of the most difficult things for most of us to do?
You may be reading this and be thinking that you have no problem loving at all. That you love your children, your family, your friends. Heck, maybe you even love your neighbors and a few of your co-workers. That’s a heck of a lot of people, so loving isn’t an issue for you at all. Right?
Well, you tell me.
Loving the people that we choose to have in our lives can be easy when things are going well. After all, you surround yourself with those whom you have things in common with and people that you feel good around with. When all is aligned, love can flow easily from you and hopefully to you as well. But what happens when things are not going so well? What happens when you disagree or when a loved one disappoints or hurts you? What about when the unimaginable happens or tragedy strikes, are you still in a state of love?
And what about those outside of your circle? The people who hold opposing viewpoints or act in ways you can’t understand. Are you able to love them, or is love only reserved for those you have allowed into your inner sphere? For those who are like you and you can understand.
I think we have somehow come to believe that we have a limited amount of love available to give in our lifetime. We hold tightly to our love, reserve it for only the special and select few, and conserve it in fear of it being abused or overused.
I can remember feeling this way at one point in my life and making it so difficult for people to get to the point of me loving them. I couldn’t understand how others gave away their love so freely, offering it to people who came across their path as quickly and easily as they offer a smile or directions. It would actually upset me, and well if I am being honest, offend me. I believed that if they gave away their love so freely than it must not be of high value to them.
I could not have been any more wrong.
What I have come to understand is that love is endless and without limitations and, the more we give it away, the more easily we are able to create it. When we choose to love in those moments when it is hardest, when we decide to give our love to those who hurt or betray us, that is when we become flooded with boundless love within ourselves. When we choose to love those whom we don’t understand and give our love to people who are different, that is when we break through barriers and open spaces within us, allowing love to flow more freely.
When you really stop to think about it, holding back love or attempting not to love, requires a ridiculous amount of energy. It is exhausting and puts us out of alignment with who we have been created to be. It is not our natural state, and in the end, it hurts us and the world at large.
And so, I challenge you today to look at the way in which you love and find places where you can give it more freely and expand those you offer it to. Perhaps you can practice loving someone who has disappointed you or maybe you can practice loving someone new in your life. Play with this, be curious, and be open to whatever this playfulness around love has to offer you.
Happy loving to you all,
P.S. Here are a few of my other recently published articles you may enjoy!
Are You Willing to be Selfish?
What is Mindset Anyway?
4 Necessary Lessons for Surviving the Dating World!