Tag Archives: divorce

Why Creating Your Vision is Essential When Navigating Transitions!

Navigating any transition can be a time that is filled with uncertainty and confusion. You may feel lost and unsure of yourself and the choices you are making. It may seem as though you are blowing in the wind, being pushed in one direction one day and another direction the next. You may feel fear and worry, at times stuck like a deer in headlights, unable to take another step forward. With emotions running high and scattered, each and every moment can appear like a mountain that needs to be climbed, with no idea how you will ever make it to the top. Finding your way through difficult times does not come with a road map, and the journey through it is different for everyone. There may not be a standard outline to guide you, but creating your vision will provide you with a light that illuminates your way.


In every moment, you have the power of choice. You can choose to be the victim of circumstance or you can choose to be a conscious creator within the circumstances of your life. As a woman who has grown through many huge life transitions, I understand first-hand how difficult this may sound. The circumstances and challenges in your daily life can be tough, making even the simplest of decisions feel impossible. When you are unsure of where you are going or what you want to be doing, this can present an even bigger challenge leaving you feeling stuck and making no decisions at all.


Creating your vision is an opportunity for you to choose to be a conscious creator throughout a difficult time in your life. It is a choice to empower yourself and take a stand against being a victim of circumstance. In Calling in “The One,” we refer to your vision as the North Star, the thing that helps to keep you on course as you find your way through uncertainty. When you have a clear vision, it becomes the very thing you use to inform the choices you make in your daily life. You can ask yourself in each moment if your choices are serving the fulfillment of your vision, and only make those choices that are aligned with where you desire to be heading.


Steps to creating your vision:


  1. Get quiet – Chances are you have a million things spinning around in your mind and tons of well-intentioned people weighing in on your situation. This can make it very difficult for you to be able to hear your own thoughts and connect with your own heart, all of which adds to the confusion and uncertainty. The only way to really know what is right for you and what you need is to get quiet so that you can listen for and connect with your own self. Steve Jobs once said, “Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” When you make the space for your heart and intuition to be heard, they will guide you in the creation of your vision.



  1. Get specific – When we think about a vision, we often think in general and broad terms and forget to get specific. You can have many visions and they can be very specific to areas in your life. In fact, the more specific you can be in your vision, the more powerful that vision becomes. Take the time to really get to know who you are and what it is you are feeling and needing. Ask yourself the tough questions, maybe even enlist the services of a coach, so that you can look at the various areas of your life and be clear about what you desire for each of them.


  1. Get creative – When going through a challenging life situation it is easy to get hyper-focused on getting through to the other side. You may find yourself feeling stress and overwhelm as you spend your days trying to get through the tasks at hand. Being in this state only stifles your heart and intuition, making it a lot harder to connect with that which is in service of you. On the other hand, creativity is what sparks your intuition and brings your heart to life. When creating your vision, make space for creativity and play so that you are able to connect with what it is you truly desire.


Once you connect with your vision, write it down and keep it close. Find ways to be consistent, surround yourself with support, and do the things that help you stay focused. Find comfort in knowing you now have a North Star guiding you toward everything you truly want to become.



With love and joy,


How to Get Through the Dreaded Year of Firsts!

How to Get Through your Dreaded Year of Firsts! It's important to have someone who can give you the tools you need to take back ownership of your life


Your marriage has ended and now it is time for you to begin learning to live a new life, a life that seems foreign, and a life that you probably felt you have been plucked into without any warning. . Whether you have ended your marriage by choice or not, having to recalibrate and learn new ways of being will be a reality for all. There will be holidays, tasks and responsibilities, places, and people that will all seem new and unreal. You will be challenged and triggered along the way as you attempt to steady yourself along unsteady ground. You will feel scared and unsure as you begin to root yourself into this new way of being. You may cry out against the unfairness of it all as you struggle to learn new skills and create new memories.

I remember being in this place like it was yesterday. I remember feeling slighted by the deck of cards life seemed to have handed me. Learning to live my life completely on my own without someone there to run things by or pick up the slack was terrifying to me. I felt lost, I felt scared, and I felt pissed. Mixed in with that was my struggle to experience life on my own, a life that kept going on, day by day, even though it sure felt to me like life should just stop right in its tracks. Every holiday that came, every person I faced, and every place that I went served as a reminder to all that I had lost and the uncertainty of what lies ahead.

About 4 days after my Ex and I separated, I celebrated my 34th birthday. That painful night would mark the first of too many firsts that I would have to experience. Little did I know that hole in my chest, that feeling like something was missing, that sense of being off balance would pop up over and over throughout the next year.

Going through all of this was painful and scary, but along the way I learned and I grew. With each day that passed, I discovered tools, techniques, and wisdom that helped to empower me and make me stronger. I found a steadiness and truth that resided in my heart, and I know now, I would not have found this had I not gone through that challenging year of firsts.

And so today, I want to share what I learned so I can help you as you make your way through your year of firsts.

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Beware…Avoidance is Fooling You

Many of us make the choice to do use avoidance, and many others do it without even realizing it. Read on to find out more about this.

Have you ever lost someone you love?

Someone who touched you at the core of your being and in your wildest dreams, never thought about living without?

Have you experienced a loss so painful that you couldn’t imagine how you would put one foot in front of the other without that person by your side?

Suddenly, they are out of your life and you are faced with a reality that never seemed possible, a reality you refused to even entertain in your darkest moments.

Now what?

How do you continue on and how do you survive?

Many of us have experienced a loss like this. Whether it is through death, divorce, or simply someone walking out of your life. The aftermath of losing someone can be painful and traumatizing.

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